Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLINWeather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN -
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN -
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN
Warning: Undefined variable $count in /home/minimali/public_html/wp-content/themes/minimalistquotes/single.php on line 188
Warning: Undefined variable $count in /home/minimali/public_html/wp-content/themes/minimalistquotes/single.php on line 188
Warning: Undefined variable $count in /home/minimali/public_html/wp-content/themes/minimalistquotes/single.php on line 188
Warning: Undefined variable $count in /home/minimali/public_html/wp-content/themes/minimalistquotes/single.php on line 188
Warning: Undefined variable $count in /home/minimali/public_html/wp-content/themes/minimalistquotes/single.php on line 188
Warning: Undefined variable $count in /home/minimali/public_html/wp-content/themes/minimalistquotes/single.php on line 203