Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLINThe most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
More George Carlin Quotes
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN