“And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.”

Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!

Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.

All parents experience the same problems.

It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

I don’t have a primary doctor, a primary hairstylist, a primary anything. I don’t even have a primary address! Everything is just whenever I can find one.

Only desperation can account for what the Chinese do in the name of ‘medicine.’

Quarantine is good for health

I don’t need a doctor or a shaman to tell me how I feel, Only I have the power to heal. I can mend my wounds into scars as a reminder of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.

Doctors cut, burn, and torture the sick, and then demand of them an undeserved fee for such services.

I am the Doctor of Democracy.

Just made an appointment with the eye doctor because I don’t know what I saw in you.