“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

Only stupid one’s.

Man can not live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.

Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.

They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.

Too many times I have given this heart away, I am afraid it is no longer mine.

I’m not afraid of losing money, I’m afraid of sour relationships.

Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.

If you’re afraid of a little fire. She may not be the one for you.

The slavery of fear had made men afraid to think.

I ain’t afraid to love a man. I ain’t afraid to shoot him either.

Don’t be afraid to give up the good for the great.