“Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.”

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.

I was’nt always black. There was this freckel that just grew and grew.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?

When you become senile, you won’t know it.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to discipline a child is still a mystery to most fathers and mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.

Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.

In extreme danger fear feels no pity.

It’s fun to be hopelessly in love. It’s dangerous, but it’s fun.

For a man’s counsel cannot have equal weight or worth, when he alone has no children to risk in the general danger.

Danger doesn’t always come from the enemy.

Jails and prisons are designed to break human beings, to convert the population into specimens in a zoo – obedient to our keepers, but dangerous to each other.

No one that encounters prosperity does not also encounter danger.

The only weapons that make me dangerous are my mind, mouth and pride, which will surely educate you.

You are in danger of living a life so comfortable and soft, that you will die without ever realizing your true potential.