Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
BILL COSBYOnly stupid one’s.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to discipline a child is still a mystery to most fathers and mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.
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Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
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Man can not live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.
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Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.
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Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
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That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
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As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
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Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.
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All Children Have Brain Damage!
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Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.
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I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!
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A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.
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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
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I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!
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A grandchild is God’s reward for raising a child.
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
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The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
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I was’nt always black. There was this freckel that just grew and grew.
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All parents experience the same problems.
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Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.
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Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
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If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
BILL COSBY