“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”

I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.

Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

The serve was invented so that the net could play.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.

A kid is something precious, and you want to protect it and keep it fun. I’m not a dad, but I’ve seen people and how they behave with their kids.

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.

I’m much more proud of being a father than being an actor.

My father always told me that. Nobody knows anything, so don’t listen to anyone else.

When my father passed away two or three years ago, I didnt listen to music for four days – thats a long time for me.

Like my father, I believe that nonviolence is the antidote to what he called ‘the triple evils of racism, poverty and militarism.’ These three evils were consuming our hopes for community in 1964, and, fifty years later, we remain divided because of their festering effects.

Often, I am asked, ‘What was your father like?’ or, ‘What would he think?’ These are very difficult questions to answer, as I was so very young when I lost my father.

My dad is Irish. I spent my childhood going back and forth between Ireland and America.