“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.

You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.

Violence won’t solve a thing. It makes it more challenging to solve, though.

That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.

Gray hair is gods graffiti.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.

It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

My father really set the tone for us to be a more moral nation, to take a moral high ground in everything that we do.

I have inherited my fathers rage and my mothers silence. Everyday is a survival. I am a fire burning, just invisible.

My Father’s Eyes’ is very personal. I realized that the closest I ever came to looking in my father’s eyes was when I looked into my son’s eyes.

If I had to do it all over again, would I want my dad here? I would say no. Our world is in a better place because our father gave his life.

My old man is a man of few words.

My son looks more like George Harrison than I do.

My favorite job is being a father. I have four girls now. They’re a captive audience.

It’s like you have a child and you think, ‘Everything that I’ve done up until this point is insignificant in comparison to being a father.’ It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.