And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.
BILL COSBYYou can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
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The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
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Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.
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The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.
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Violence won’t solve a thing. It makes it more challenging to solve, though.
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I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.
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The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.
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Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.
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Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
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No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
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When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
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I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
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A grandchild is God’s reward for raising a child.
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
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Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
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A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.
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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
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I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!
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Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
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Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
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The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
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Old is always fifteen years from now.
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That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
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Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.
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Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
BILL COSBY