Full Name:Erma Louise Bombeck
Walk of life:Humorist
Born:21 February 1927, US
Died:22 April 1996, US
Read on: Wikipedia
Feature Image: Wikipedia
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
Housework can kill you if done right.
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.