“One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.”

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.

Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.

Housework can kill you if done right.

Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.

When you feel like you’ve reached your limit, it’s only the beginning.

Life, he realize, was much like a song. In the beginning there is mystery, in the end there is confirmation, but it’s in the middle where all the emotion resides to make the whole thing worthwhile.

Economic disaster begins with a philosophy of doing less and wanting more.

Begin by learning to draw and paint like the old masters. After that, you can do as you like; everyone will respect you.

Freedom begins when you start praying bold prayers.

The day we see the truth and cease to speak is the day we begin to die.

Since the beginning, it was just the same. The only difference, the crowds are bigger now.

If you want to amend your errors, you must begin by amending your philosophy.