Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECKA grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Children make your life important.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
ERMA BOMBECK