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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

Erma Bombeck

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Clean Funny Home Mom
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Path Tough
I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Book Food Funny Myself
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK

Courage Dream Kindness Yourself
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Run Time Young
Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Boy Company Dog Friendship
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Humor Moments Woman
I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK

Exercise Insect Inspiration Woman
Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Important Literature One Liner Worth
Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Deep Emotion Funny Hard Love Pride Quiet Reality Yourself
I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
ERMA BOMBECK

Discover Myself Science Worry
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Growth Parents Yourself
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

God Help Herself Life Maguc Pregnant Time Woman
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK

Believe Book Children Friendship Herself Library Myself
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK

Doctor Funny Humor People Survive Money
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Evening Failure Feeling Goodness Misery Sun

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

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