“A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.”

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.

Every puppy should have a boy.

There were two saints in the desert, who had sewed thorns into all their clothes; and we seek for nothing but comfort!

My wardrobe consists of antique clothes, many of my designs, plus shoes and shirts from Brooks Brothers and Paul Stuart.

Levi’s can produce many more Western jeans than we can and make them at a better price.

There has been a change in men’s attitudes toward their clothes. Men are more aware of fashion; they’re not afraid of it.

I think there’s something incredibly sexy about a woman wearing her boyfriend’s T-shirt and underwear.

The professional will not tolerate disorder… He wants the carpet vacuumed and the threshold swept, so the Muse may enter and not soil her gown.

As a child, as a teenager, I was kind of not allowed to wear fashionable clothes.

It would not be impossible to prove with sufficient repetition and a psychological understanding of the people concerned that a square is in fact a circle. They are mere words, and words can be molded until they clothe ideas and disguise.