No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECKHow come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK