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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.

Bill Cosby

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
BILL COSBY

Humor Laughter Pain Survive Yourself
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
BILL COSBY

Dog Teaching Yourself
Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
BILL COSBY

Lips Yourself
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
BILL COSBY

Gift God Heart Marriage Memories Relationship
Old is always fifteen years from now.
BILL COSBY

Old One Liner
There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.
BILL COSBY

Dignity Person Right
I was’nt always black. There was this freckel that just grew and grew.
BILL COSBY

Black Grow Up Myself
Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.
BILL COSBY

Intellectual Nature People
All parents experience the same problems.
BILL COSBY

Experience Parents Problem
Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.
BILL COSBY

Decision Fear Yourself
If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
BILL COSBY

Recognize See Yourself
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
BILL COSBY

Deep Empty Philosophy Yourself
Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
BILL COSBY

Different Man Woman
You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
BILL COSBY

Genius Marriage Yourself
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
BILL COSBY

Eat Myself Pieces
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
BILL COSBY

Death Himself See Voice Yourself
I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!
BILL COSBY

Home Loss Myself
When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
BILL COSBY

Deep Dream One Liner Wake Up Yourself
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
BILL COSBY

Fundamental Marriage Oneself Truth Wife
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
BILL COSBY

Children End Friendship Myself Play
And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.
BILL COSBY

Doctor Yourself
Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
BILL COSBY

Children Father Joy Myself
I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.
BILL COSBY

Importance Myself People Person Self Love Try Worth
In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to discipline a child is still a mystery to most fathers and mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.
BILL COSBY

Advice Book Children Discipline Father Mother Mystery Right
Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.
BILL COSBY

Fantasy Funny Greatness Oneself Romantic
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
BILL COSBY

Children Home Human
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
BILL COSBY

Laughter Life Survive Worst

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.

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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.

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