“Old is always fifteen years from now.”

Only stupid one’s.

Man can not live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.

Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

Well, come gather around and I’ll sing you a song, about a crazy old world that’s coming along.

New pain is an old pain wrapped in a new story.

Old ways won’t open new doors.

Yeah lets grow old together, But promise me we’ll always have youth in our bones.

She is the old school hard love, your modern brittle love can’t afford to carry.

Education gives sobriety to the young, comfort to the old, riches to the poor and is an ornament to the rich.

I had shed my old skin so I could make room to grow into myself again.

She is an old soul, with young eyes. An euphoric heart and a beautiful mind.