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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.

Bill Cosby

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
BILL COSBY

Different Man Woman
And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.
BILL COSBY

Doctor Yourself
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
BILL COSBY

Children Home Human
Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.
BILL COSBY

Justice Parents Peace Quiet
You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
BILL COSBY

Genius Marriage Yourself
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
BILL COSBY

Gift God Heart Marriage Memories Relationship
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
BILL COSBY

Humor Laughter Pain Survive Yourself
When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
BILL COSBY

Deep Dream One Liner Wake Up Yourself
Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
BILL COSBY

Fun Yourself
All parents experience the same problems.
BILL COSBY

Experience Parents Problem
It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
BILL COSBY

Life Man Pride
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
BILL COSBY

Beautiful Children Love People Sex
Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.
BILL COSBY

Intellectual Nature People
Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.
BILL COSBY

Decision Fear Yourself
Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
BILL COSBY

Myself Talk
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
BILL COSBY

Dog Teaching Yourself
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
BILL COSBY

Failure Myself Success
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
BILL COSBY

Father Funny Love Present
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
BILL COSBY

Laughter Life Survive Worst
That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
BILL COSBY

Body Philosophy Science
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.
BILL COSBY

Authority Power Trust Yourself
Only stupid one’s.
BILL COSBY

One Liner Stupidity
I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!
BILL COSBY

Myself World Yourself
The serve was invented so that the net could play.
BILL COSBY

Invention Play
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
BILL COSBY

Eat Myself Pieces
If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
BILL COSBY

Recognize See Yourself
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
BILL COSBY

Death Himself See Voice Yourself

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.

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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.

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