“You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.”

You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.

Violence won’t solve a thing. It makes it more challenging to solve, though.

That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.

Gray hair is gods graffiti.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.

It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.

I was’nt always black. There was this freckel that just grew and grew.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

If I loved a guy as much as I love my dog, the guy would be in serious trouble because I’m all over that dog, all of the time.

Let anyone speak hundreds of things against you, do not resent by giving a bitter reply. If you tolerate such things, you will certainly be happy. If anybody wants any money from you, and you are not inclined to give, do not give. But do not bark at him like a Dog.

It’s Christmas time and my rhyme’s steady bumpin. Everybody happy, hair still nappy, Gonna steal a gift for my old grandpappy.

A grateful dog is better than an ungrateful man.

A dog will never forget the crumb thou gavest him, though thou mayst afterwards throw a hundred stones at his head.

Man is, beyond dispute, the most excellent of created beings, and the vilest animal is a dog; but the sages agree that a grateful dog is better than an ungrateful man.

Do good even to the wicked; it is as well to shut a dog’s mouth with a crumb.

Every puppy should have a boy.