The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERSWhen I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
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There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
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Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
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The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
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No man is great if he thinks he is.
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I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
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When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
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A fool and his money are soon elected.
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If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
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A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS