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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
WILL ROGERS

Learning Men Observation Reading Stupidity
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
WILL ROGERS

Debt Due never Pay Worry
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

Education Man Stupidity
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERS

Chew Funny Man Slap Tabacoo
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS

Belong Democracy Organization Party Politics
You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Judgment Man Missing
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Gamble Save Sell Stock Market
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
WILL ROGERS

Finding Life Rush Save Time
A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
WILL ROGERS

Business Planning Vision
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
WILL ROGERS

Philosophy Trouble
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
WILL ROGERS

Government Match Men Play
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
WILL ROGERS

Community Ideas Prohibition Work
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS

Association Learning Man People Reading Smart
A fool and his money are soon elected.
WILL ROGERS

Fools Money
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS

Country Office Politics
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
WILL ROGERS

Fight Ignorant Quick
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
WILL ROGERS

Clean Country Mind Need
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
WILL ROGERS

Motivational Park Road Space Success
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS

Crime Lawyer One Liner Pay
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS

Business Experience Inspirational Judgment
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Reason Vote
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS

Change Comedy People Politics Serious
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Earn Human Nature Impress Money People
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
WILL ROGERS

Experience Happen Hard Time Inspirational
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Truth
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS

Business Cost Count Man Pay

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Popular Authors

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