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Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

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Chew Funny Man Slap Tabacoo

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Gamble Save Sell Stock Market
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS

Crime Lawyer One Liner Pay
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS

Farmer Optimistic
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERS

Drink Funny Leadership
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS

Blow Carry Far Horn Sound
If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
WILL ROGERS

Believe Inspirational Love Success Want
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Convince Money Need People Spend
A fool and his money are soon elected.
WILL ROGERS

Fools Money
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work
Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
WILL ROGERS

Inspirational Life Serious Work Hard
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Amount Improvement Money
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
WILL ROGERS

Finding Life Rush Save Time
The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
WILL ROGERS

Admit Observe Party Politics Worse
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Fact Government Joke Report Watch
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
WILL ROGERS

Motivational Park Road Space Success
You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Judgment Man Missing
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
WILL ROGERS

Civilization Learning Recognize Rights True
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
WILL ROGERS

Fight Ignorant Quick
Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
WILL ROGERS

Government Pay Thankful
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
WILL ROGERS

Man Mistake never Tired
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

Education Man Stupidity
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS

Deep Different Ignorance One Liner Reality Subject
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS

Association Learning Man People Reading Smart
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
WILL ROGERS

Birthday Experience Old Wait Worth
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
WILL ROGERS

Community Ideas Prohibition Work
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
WILL ROGERS

Philosophy Trouble

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