Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
WILL ROGERSAll I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
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Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
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Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
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People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
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The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS