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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

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Funny Happen Hard Time Tragedy

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERS

Cry Laugh Onion People Vegetable
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS

Change Comedy People Politics Serious
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Happen Hard Time Tragedy
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

Education Man Stupidity
If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
WILL ROGERS

Believe Inspirational Love Success Want
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
WILL ROGERS

Election Man Politics Unfortunate
Common sense ain’t common.
WILL ROGERS

Common Sense Funny One Liner
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Insult One Liner Shut Up
It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
WILL ROGERS

Awful Corruption Interest People
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS

History Inspirational Let Go Past
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
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Funny Humor Theory Woman
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
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Chair Deserve Funny High Five Face People
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
WILL ROGERS

Difficult Hard Time Inspirational One Liner
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Truth
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS

Applaud Hero Sit
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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Blow Carry Far Horn Sound
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERS

Chew Funny Man Slap Tabacoo
No man is great if he thinks he is.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Man One Liner
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS

Country Office Politics
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
WILL ROGERS

Fight Ignorant Quick
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Convince Money Need People Spend
A fool and his money are soon elected.
WILL ROGERS

Fools Money
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS

Joke Pratical Trouble
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
WILL ROGERS

Break Hear Horse People Smart
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Impression Inspirational Life

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