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Common sense ain’t common.

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Common Sense Funny One Liner

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS

Die Dog Heaven Want
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS

Ashame Gossip Live Parrot Sell
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Impression Inspirational Life
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
WILL ROGERS

Community Ideas Prohibition Work
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS

Business Cost Count Man Pay
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

Education Man Stupidity
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
WILL ROGERS

Election Man Politics Unfortunate
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

Art Diplomacy Finding Rock
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS

Blow Carry Far Horn Sound
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
WILL ROGERS

Birthday Experience Old Wait Worth
Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
WILL ROGERS

Inspirational Life Serious Work Hard
You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

Advance Civilization Kill War
You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
WILL ROGERS

Fruit Hard Time Inspirational Struggle
People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
WILL ROGERS

Argument Change Mind Observation People
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
WILL ROGERS

Fight Ignorant Quick
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Insult One Liner Shut Up
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERS

Chew Funny Man Slap Tabacoo
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
WILL ROGERS

Account Democracy Government Nation People
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS

Business Experience Inspirational Judgment
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
WILL ROGERS

Death Difference Government Meet Tax Time
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS

Association Learning Man People Reading Smart
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
WILL ROGERS

Civilization Learning Recognize Rights True
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
WILL ROGERS

Finding Life Rush Save Time
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Fact Government Joke Report Watch
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS

Change Comedy People Politics Serious
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
WILL ROGERS

Debt Due never Pay Worry

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