“We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.”

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.

It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.

The right of voting for representatives is the primary right by which other rights are protected. To take away this right is to reduce a man to slavery, for slavery consists in being subject to the will of another, and he that has not a vote in the election of representatives is in this case.

If my name were John D Smith IV I wouldn’t have been elected to anything.

The Election Commission stopped me from campaigning. I accepted it and reached people through my prayer – in silence. People gave their approval. Praying in silence is important, and this spiritual prayer has paid off.

The crisis of modern democracy is a profound one. Free elections, a free press and an independent judiciary mean little when the free market has reduced them to commodities available on sale to the highest bidder.

The issues in America are so big, and the problems are enormously complicated. But I am incredibly confident in Donald Trump to be able to execute on his promise to the people who elected him.

In 1956, I shall not go to the polls. I have not registered. I believe that democracy has so far disappeared in the United States that no ‘two evils’ exist. There is but one evil party with two names, and it will be elected despite all I can do or say.

God works in his elect in two ways: inwardly, by his Spirit; outwardly, by his Word.

You who have read the history of nations, from Moses down to our last election, where have you ever seen one class looking after the interests of another?