“It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.”

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.

Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

All philosophy lies in two words, sustain and abstain.

It has nothing to say about philosophy or values, anymore than it has to say about music or literature.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Cynicism is a sorry kind of wisdom.

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.

I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage.

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.