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It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.

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Philosophy Trouble

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Humor Theory Woman
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS

Business Cost Count Man Pay
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS

Deep Different Ignorance One Liner Reality Subject
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Reason Vote
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
WILL ROGERS

Fly People Rage
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

Education Man Stupidity
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS

History Inspirational Let Go Past
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Impression Inspirational Life
No man is great if he thinks he is.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Man One Liner
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
WILL ROGERS

Election Man Politics Unfortunate
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS

Country Office Politics
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Truth
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
WILL ROGERS

Finding Life Rush Save Time
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Amount Improvement Money
Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Land Stuff
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Gamble Save Sell Stock Market
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Fact Government Joke Report Watch
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS

Inspirational Right Sit Track
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS

Ashame Gossip Live Parrot Sell
You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
WILL ROGERS

Fruit Hard Time Inspirational Struggle
When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
WILL ROGERS

Advice Deep Finding Hole Quit
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
WILL ROGERS

Chair Deserve Funny High Five Face People
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Earn Human Nature Impress Money People
Common sense ain’t common.
WILL ROGERS

Common Sense Funny One Liner
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
WILL ROGERS

Man Mistake never Tired
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
WILL ROGERS

Government Match Men Play
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS

Change Comedy People Politics Serious

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