“It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.”

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’

You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.

When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.

It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.

There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

Sometimes it’s not enough to know what things mean, sometimes you have to know what things don’t mean.

Our happiest times are those in which we forget ourselves, usually in being kind to someone else. That tiny moment of self-abdication is an act of true humility: the man who loses himself finds himself and finds his happiness.

There is nothing wrong with men possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess men.

The philosophers are wrong: it is not words that kill, it is silence.

Lots of the things we do are dangerous, but life itself is dangerous; nothing is really worth bothering with that isn’t full of danger

Nobody knows why they were born or where they come from.

What ever I want from this day on, I have to let it go.

Our lives change externally as we change internally.