I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD