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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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