This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. RODNEY DANGERFIELD EveryoneLoomMetUnderwear
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. RODNEY DANGERFIELD AroundCameWallet
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. RODNEY DANGERFIELD AlreadyEyeGarbageKeepMeRidTold
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat. RODNEY DANGERFIELD AllAntierChocolateCookGotMaeMouseStuckThroat
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. RODNEY DANGERFIELD BathParentRadioToastToy
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home. RODNEY DANGERFIELD AnotherDayNobodyOverPhone
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. RODNEY DANGERFIELD BeingDoDrawMostThingToldWage
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand. RODNEY DANGERFIELD AnotherCameCementFeltHandNeighborhoodRealSome
