One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield Forgiveness comes after understanding & understanding comes after acceptance.
Tom MetcafeTom Metcafe Someday your pen will write a revolution. Until then, write your pain.
Fareena AliyaFareena Aliya Time is precious. So are the people in your life. So love and be loved. Because tomorrow is never promised.
Jenny AJenny A Thank you for still being there for yourself. For being strong. For being resilient. Keep going.
Yohan AcostaYohan Acosta There will never be a day, I am not thankful for the fire you brought to my life that still warms me to the bones.
Mark AnthonyMark Anthony You could have shook my whole world luckily I became aware, and I took a turn.
Emma SchippersEmma Schippers
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