My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD