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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Ask How Big People Pet Store Work

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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Born I Morning Mother Sickness
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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Get Honest No Politician Respect Run
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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Arm Bone Dog Favorite My
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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Birthday Ever Had Join Respect Toast Water Wife Women

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