I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD