I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD