My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD