I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDActing deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD