I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield Thoughts on a tapestry. Colour or black and white. A brush, a pen, A flash of light. Ideas flowing soon, about to take flight.
Gerard GleesonGerard Gleeson Like deep water, she was silent. His lips tasted of salt. He was both addicting and bitter all at once.
MoomerMoomer Always show kindness and love to others. Your words might be filling the empty places in someone else heart.
Alexander KandovAlexander Kandov And I would lie on your chest for hours and dream about the world in your arms but your thoughts were in another world.
Ani ShahverdyanAni Shahverdyan Your smile and your laughter lit my whole world.
Ranata SuzukiRanata Suzuki Often all we can do is breathe, even that can be hard sometimes.
Julia Kellogg HenryJulia Kellogg Henry
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