I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield How strange that our hearts heal from the same thing that broke it -love.
Cailin HargreavesCailin Hargreaves The peak of intensity is numbness not emotionless.
Anamika GargAnamika Garg She is everything and nothing at all.
Ava NicoleAva Nicole She built her castle at rock bottom.
Harriet SelinaHarriet Selina Keep growing into yourself.
Sophia JoanSophia Joan They tell you to be grateful for what you have. But you are also allowed to be sad for what you have lost.
Sabina LauraSabina Laura
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