I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD