Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
ADAM CAROLLAA lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLA