You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
ADAM CAROLLAWhoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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