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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
ADAM CAROLLA

Common Sense Fist Hand Lawyer Sanitizer
Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA

Care Everone Funny Humor Intimidating Oh My God Saying
He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA

Done Funny Guy Humor Onesome Threesome
Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
ADAM CAROLLA

Christmas Country Dad Every Imagine Seeing Three Year
I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ambivalent Camera Cat Enough People Semi
When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
ADAM CAROLLA

Especially Lot Missing More Partner Television
I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
ADAM CAROLLA

Car Need Nose Picking Running Superstitious Unless
I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
ADAM CAROLLA

Desire People Political Some Sort Strong Thinking Wrap
Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
ADAM CAROLLA

Allow Atheist Guilt Man Myself Screw Sex Ten
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
ADAM CAROLLA

Enough Good Hurt Hurting Interesting Nice Parent People
The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
ADAM CAROLLA

Adage Believe Grossly Overrated Yourself
When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Excitement Express Knowledge Radio Show Yourself
I don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLA

Aware Computer Function Know Knowlege Work
California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
ADAM CAROLLA

Country Fall Forty-Five Look School
They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLA

Advertize Bejeeezus Commercial Out Pie Seen Yogurt
Welfare is monetary methadone.
ADAM CAROLLA

Heo Methadone Monetary Organisation Welfare

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