“I don’t know anything about computers.”

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.

There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.

Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

If you observe awareness steadily, this awareness itself becomes the Guru that will reveal the Truth.

Even if we remain unaware of it, our belongings really work hard for us, carrying out their respective roles each day to support our lives.

Once the current of awareness of the self is set afoot, it becomes everlasting and continuous by intensification.

Sense-perceptions can only be indirect knowledge, and not direct knowledge. Only one’s own awareness is direct knowledge.

Consciousness is indeed always with us. Everyone knows ‘I am!’ No one can deny his own being.

Gifts are like fish-hooks; for who is not aware that the greedy char is deceived by the fly which he swallows?

See who is the doubter, who is the thinker. It is the ego. Hold it; the other thoughts will die away – the ego will be left pure. See the source from where the ego arises and abide in it. That is pure consciousness.

Does one require proof of one’s own being? Only remain aware of yourself and all else will be known.