“As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.”

I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.

The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.

The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.

I’m a comedian, not a politician.

I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.

You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.

The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.

He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.

. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.

We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.

It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.

The difficulty lies, not in the new ideas, but in escaping from the old ones.

The difficulty lies, not in the new ideas, but in escaping the old ones, which ramify, for those brought up as most of us have been, into every corner of our minds.

I think madness can be an escape. If things are not so good, you maybe want to imagine something better.

Don’t be a writer. Writing is an escape from something. You be a scientist.

At the age of fourteen I discovered writing as an escape from a world of reality in which I felt acutely uncomfortable.

The past is our definition. We may strive with good reason to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it. But we will escape it only by adding something better to it.

The ‘punch’ of a truly weird tale is simply some violation or transcending of fixed cosmic law – an imaginative escape from palling reality – hence, phenomena rather than persons are the logical ‘heroes.’

Yes. A man will talk about how he’d like to escape from living folks. But it’s the dead folks that do him the damage. It’s the dead ones that lay quiet in one place and dont try to hold him, that he cant escape from.