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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.

Adam Carolla

Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
ADAM CAROLLA

Aware Get Getting Laid Over Thing
If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA

Backyard Blond Country Evil Gardner Harder Kibble Lob Molly More
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bigger Commercial Funny Humor Maxi Nice Pad Visual
Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
ADAM CAROLLA

Christmas Country Dad Every Imagine Seeing Three Year
I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
ADAM CAROLLA

Audience Monetization Really Secondary Thinking
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
ADAM CAROLLA

Country Differences Drunk Funny Guess Hard Work Humor Worked
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
ADAM CAROLLA

Alter Behaviors Good Help Incentive Shop Tell
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
ADAM CAROLLA

Breed Cat Certain Like People Performing Radio Stuff Television
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
ADAM CAROLLA

Desire Infused Need Office Passion Patriotism Place Probably Vigor
The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
ADAM CAROLLA

Art Beautiful Car
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLA

Advantage Ask Focus Asking Judging Smell Someone
. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Bless Country Dancing Floor God Man Star Win Woman Wooden
I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Car Guy Hammer Nut Sort Swinging Turning Wrenching
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
ADAM CAROLLA

Actually Chance Chick Funny Humor Mercedes Name
I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
ADAM CAROLLA

All Artistic Different Favorite Podcasting Radio Script
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLA

Explore Figure Funny Humor Nap Out

Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.

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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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