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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
ADAM CAROLLA

History Less Motto Mystery Reveal Suspense
I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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Guy Need Personality Pople Represent Want
Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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Bag Creative Name Sleep Sleeping Speaking
I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
ADAM CAROLLA

Annoyed Feel Like Time Travel Traveler
I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Attempted Comedy Good Stand Up Very
Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLA

Head Hungarian Paprikash Reader Some Toss World
This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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Circumstance Gay Glider Hate Pomp Star Terrorist
I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
ADAM CAROLLA

Agnostic Atheist God Law Thinking
The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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Best Build Drive Gift Impossible Seem Stuff Yourself
I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ability Field Healthcare Playing Right Thinking Work
I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
ADAM CAROLLA

Age Life Positive Show Story Success Year
Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Aware Get Getting Laid Over Thing
I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
ADAM CAROLLA

Desire People Political Some Sort Strong Thinking Wrap
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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Building Car Life Some Working Wrenching
I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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Chick Color Eye Great Visible Vision
Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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Any Form Over Shape Taking Talk Way Weird
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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Country Differences Drunk Funny Guess Hard Work Humor Worked
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Fake Funny Humor None Orgasm Two Type Women
If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Bird Human Remain Size Street Tax
Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
ADAM CAROLLA

Back Believe Build Door Job Overwhelming Stand Stuff
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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Chick Guy Mean Money People Successful Thinking
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Advantage Ask Focus Asking Judging Smell Someone
Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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Buc Focus Made Making Nickle Saving
No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bear Chasing Depressed
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
ADAM CAROLLA

Besides Birth Control Everything Funny Giving Humor Pill Women
I get depressed at airports.
ADAM CAROLLA

Airport Depress Depressed Fear Height Scare Shy

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