My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
ADAM CAROLLAI think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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I get depressed at airports.
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