I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLAI attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLA