Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
ADAM CAROLLAI am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
ADAM CAROLLA