I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
ADAM CAROLLAI am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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