“I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.”

Welfare is monetary methadone.

People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.

Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.

I get depressed at airports.

I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.

Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.

I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.