I don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLA
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
ADAM CAROLLA -
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
ADAM CAROLLA -
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
ADAM CAROLLA -
All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
ADAM CAROLLA -
No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
ADAM CAROLLA -
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
ADAM CAROLLA -
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA