Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
ADAM CAROLLAMaybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I get depressed at airports.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
ADAM CAROLLA