No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLA