Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
ADAM CAROLLAI am not a good cue card reader.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
ADAM CAROLLA