Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I get depressed at airports.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA